Semi-Disposable Swedish Furniture

When I was younger and went to school, I drew the inevitable conclusion that I was the second-least posh kid in my circle of friends.

All the others had dinner parties and went to obscure destinations for their holidays and had big houses at the top of the town and so on and so forth.

And I still think like this today. Because I am well-spoken and read books and get confused about football, people still assume I went to a minor public school or have no qualms about paying £10 for a bottle of wine (£3.49 please) or that I don’t have a TV and so on.

More fool them. I can still remember the first time I had a cup of tea out of a cup and saucer. Very traumatic for me that was.

But my main point: have you noticed how temps are getting posher these days? Back in the day it was all conversations about pubs in Norwich or recitations of reggae classics.

Now it’s all fashion courses, and gap years in Indonesia and craft and designer glasses and the like.

What do I talk to these people about?