Der Golem

I’ve long been a fan of golems. Tying in with other representations of the body without a soul like the zombie, psychopath and such like.

It would be even better to have one, even though we’re not all like Judah Loew ben Bezalel of course.

But if I wanted to make a golem today, I’d find it somewhat tricky. For one I don’t have knowledge of the esoteric rituals used by HaShem to create אָדָם. More importantly, I don’t have any clay.

Bearing this in mind, I will have resort to other means. There’s paper for example. I could use that for papier-mâché. Sorted.

But what paper? The most popular newspaper, at least the one with sufficient bulk to make a golem would have to be the Daily Mail.

If I was using the Mail as the basis for my golem, it would be no use writing אמת on the forehead to initiate your golem and מת to stop it. It would need something more in keeping with the philosophy of the Mail.

What about “…and guess who’s paying”. Writing this on your golem would be sure to invoke enough rage to give your golem life and you could set them onto, say, tidying the house.

But what would the golem look like? I have a feel that were I to make two golems (I have a very untidy house) from copies of the Mail and succeed in giving them life I imagine they’d look a little something like this.