Bloody Motherfucking Asshole

M*A*S*H-starring, One Man Guy mucho sardonic singer-songwriter Loudon Wainwright III once claimed it took him less time to compose his bluegrass novelty number Dead Skunk then it took to play it.

A claim echoed by Marc Bolan for the John’s Children single Desdemona.

For a long time I wondered how this would be physically possible.  But I assure you it is, having once composed an ode to the joys of canned “all-day breakfasts” in around 30 seconds flat. And it sounded like it, bearing as much resemblance to a classic song as the cans of breakfast do to food.

But would it be possible to write a blog post in less time than it takes to read it? Possibly, if the person reading is a particularly slow reader I suppose, but not very likely.

But never mind, you see I’ve been most remiss with my blogging recently. I’ve hardly done any, and when I have they’ve been short blog posts. I have a plan to make me do more, and it goes a little something like this.

1. Every day until further notice or until my brain explodes I will write one blog post.
2. The title of the blog post will come from a list of titles.
3. I will sit down, type the title in the relevant box, and follow up with a stream of words inspired by the title.
4. I will stop when I can’t think of anything more on the topic, or when Neighbours starts, or when my pizza finishes cooking or when I need the loo, or when I stub my toe, or when I get invited to the pub, or when my fingers hurt.

Join in with my stupid waste of time, sorry, brilliant way of revitalising my blogging “mojo” by suggesting titles of blog posts in the comments.

Right, I’ve got some hoovering to do.