Tubefail

For those of you who follow my twitter feed, you may have noticed a fair amount of “tweets” which have been “hashtagged” tubefail.

Yes, there’s a 48-hour strike on the tube, due to finish (at time of typing) in just under a hour.

Without this happening we wouldn’t have had the brilliance of the Tube Strike Drinking Game:

- National broadcast media dwell on strike like it’s the most important thing in the country. (a tot of brandy)
- Uppity Scotsman sends a text message to BBC 5 Live Breakfast to say he doesn’t care about the Tube strike. (pour a pint of McEwans Export over radio)

- Phone caller to radio station upset at having to walk two miles. (small glass of absinthe)

- Bob Crow complains about “bullying”, demonstrating slight lack of self-awareness. (A Watney’s Party 7)

Brilliant.

This strike has been set up as Johnson v. Crow, in such a way that there must be some slash fiction in the offing.

I for my part hate both of them and if there was a way they could both lose, I’d be very happy.

Take Boris’ statement that a pay-rise of 5% is “demented”. What was the Mayor of London’s salary increase this year then? That’ll be 5%.

Take Crow stating the strike is “well-supported”. Excuse me while I just cough up a lung.

I’ve been very lucky as I can use both Overground train and/or bus to get to work and it takes about the same time. It’s a lot more crowded than usual, but I still get there and if it means having a latte and a croissant in a cafe to avoid being in work at stupid o’clock then I’m not exactly complaining.

For those who have a more difficult journey though, the frustration and seething have been spilling out. Here are some suggestion I have overheard about what should be done about striking workers.

• They should be pelted with stones.
• They should be locked out of the station over night.
• They should be tied up and furiously masturbated to the brink of orgasm, only to be cruelly abandoned at the last second, leaving no method of release.

I may have made one of those up.

In the meantime I need suggestions of alternatives to striking if you’re pissed off with your management. Working to rule has long appealed to the pedant in me, but there must be better ones.

Ones that don’t involve the greater public, as they’re far from enjoying this.