I Dreamt About You Last Night, And I Fell Out Of Bed Twice

As you probably know, it’s rather hot here at the moment.

This has resulted in me having near-Tiny Tim numbers of showers and spending the nights attempting sleep in sweltering conditions.

Last night, I was very tired and so despite the heat managed to drop off to sleep fairly early. However I was woken at around 1am by some shouting in the street.

As usual, I couldn’t quite make out what was going on lying in bed, so I got up and moved to the bathroom, where I’d be able to here what was going on better. In addition, it gave me an opportunity to re-moisten my towel*.

The people shouting in the street appeared to be a man and a woman and the first thing I heard on moving to the bathroom was something about “breaking up”.

Ooh hello, said the prurient, curtain-twitching part of my brain, and I strained to listen more. It could have been better, one of them could have done something really awful at the party I assumed they were at, which had resulted in their being dumped on the spot, but I think the dumping had already taken place and one party was not willing to accept this. From the tone, I’d guess it was him.

Annoyingly though, despite the fact that they were annoying enough to think that shouting in the street was any way acceptable, they weren’t doing it loud enough for me to make out much.

Firstly, I could only hear what she was saying. I inferred we was coming up with a series of ever more ridiculous reasonings, which she was quickly dismissing. He certainly wasn’t doing my patented annoy-the-person-you’re-arguing-so-much-with-your-passive/aggressive-mumbling-they-storm-off-in-disgust argument “technique” more’s the pity.

I assume that alcohol must have had its part to play in the argument although there wasn’t any one involved. This third person would have to be very, very drunk indeed and saying things like “come on people, we were having a great time, leave it out…”

I was tempted to shout something out of the window, telling them to shut the fuck up as people were trying to sleep, but decided not to as I thought this would wake more people up, and I was a bit scared they’d use the opportunity to make up with each other, break into my flat and beat me to a bloody pulp.

Which would be very annoying.

To my annoyance, despite feeling more awake that I thought possible I fell back asleep and woke up a tangled sweaty mess some hours later.

The argument had finished. Thankfully.

If only it had been more like this:

* A wet towel draped across the ankles has a wonderful cooling effect. Trust me.