I Won’t Do That Unless You Pay Me A Tenner Extra

Everyone knows that prostitution is the oldest profession, but not everyone can get a book deal out of it. Sometimes you just get sneered at by people like Richard Littlejohn.

Sorry to interrupt the blogpost, but I can’t mention Littlejohn without linking to this really.

Back to the blogpost, now we’ve all joked about exchanging money for “sexual favours”. All very hilarious, but what’s the going rate?

My research has revealed the following, which took ages and isn’t that up to date. Where’s Boswell when you need him?

Penny = French kiss

Threepenny Opera = Intercrural

Florin = Baseball

Half-crown = Kegal

50p = Piledriver

10 bob = Nyotaimori (刺身 extra)

Sovereign = Food Play (cream pie extra)

Maundy  Money = Ookie Cookie

Guinea = Dirty Sanchez

Lady Godiva = Rusty Trombone

Scottish £10 note = Lipstick lesbian